Air Brushed Christians: a Word for the Holidays.

Our oldest son lives in Columbus, Ohio. A friend of his has a tough job: air brushing the pictures of the models whose pictures will be used in the catalogue at Victoria's Secret. Or whose pictures will be posted in the stores.

When I heard that, I wondered what constitutes a bad day for the company artist. I wonder if this young guy's wife understands when he complains about a long day...deadlines?

This may come as a shock to you, but these seemingly perfect women aren't perfect. The leaders of the company, though, want any imperfections covered over...removed.

Sometimes we are guilty, in the church, of airbrushing our lives. We want any sign of weakness or fear or failure removed. We do our best to hide all that. Not sure why we -why I- do that but I suspect it has to do with not trusting people to love us, or want to be with us, if they knew just how ragged around the edges we sometimes are. Truth is the temptation to airbrush the fears and sin and imperfection out of our lives is evidence of our lack of trust in God's grace. "How could a holy God want anything to do with a creature who has been known to yell at his kids, or who has trouble controlling his mouth, or can't get over the bitterness of a long ago divorce?" we think. So we airbrush. We hide the sad or scared or mean stuff.

I was thinking about that this afternoon. As we approach Christmas. A tv ad for Budweiser showed a team of horses pulling a perfect wagon through a gentle snowstorm. It showed a perfect white farm house with a perfect green wreath, with a perfect red bow, on the front of the house. We see these images of perfect holiday gatherings. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and loving children, a well behaved dog wagging its tail to the beat of a Christmas carol. We see people in a warm home, gifts wrapped and piled beneath a tree, folks holding hands around the dinner table for prayer...and it all just seems so...perfect.

If you are thinking you are the only one in the world whose life is ragged, if you think you are the only one who gets overwhelmed or lonely during the holidays, I have news for you: few families, few relationships, and few holiday gatherings are as perfect as the idealized pictures show them to be. A lot of people get tired....during the holidays. A lot of people feel overwhelmed. A lot of people have moments of loneliness.

Two weeks ago I was coming back from a meeting in central Indiana. I called a person I love very much to tell them I was thinking about them. I called to check in on them. Our conversation went from bad to worse. At the end she was shouting at me and I was shouting back. "I called to tell you I love you!" I said into the phone. "Don't you get it?" She shouted back. I said, "This isn't good for either one of us" and I hung up on her. Twice...because she called back and started yelling again. I was driving through deep darkness, on a rainy night, in Whitley County. By the time I got home my body was humming...electric...with sadness. Disappointment. How can families and friendships get so sideways?

The dirty little secret is many of us, even in the Christian community, do our best to airbrush this stuff out. But it is still there...

Paul, in his letters, is so honest! He doesn't appear to be trying to airbrush the sin and struggle out of his life. In Romans 7 he talks about his struggle with sin. Paul looks at his heart, his soul, and describes what he finds as a war (:23) Then, Paul says God has the power -in Jesus Christ- to deliver him from that war. He begins the next chapter by saying "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Maybe God loves us so much that we can stop airbrushing. Be honest. And let God's love do some deep healing.

When James Taylor Sings Back-Up.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, out of Cleveland, Ohio recently held two concerts in New York City. Each evening featured a series of greats from the present and the past. U2 sang, for example, with Bruce Springsteen. The line up included people like Stevie Wonder, Dion, Metallica, B.B King, Bonnie Raitt, Jeff Beck, Art Garfunkel & Paul Simon, Crosby, Stills and Nash...

Pretty stunning.

I heard about the concert...the line-up. Hadn't heard a note of it until this afternoon when our son began playing the concert broadcast he had recorded on his DVR from HBO. I hadn't intended on having my morning swallowed up by amazing music, but I kept listening...and, sometimes, dancing with my 27-month old granddaughter.

Great stuff! The clear voice of Bonnie Raitt singing about love...and then the horn section wailing away on Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al."

Do you know what really got me? It was watching people like Graham Nash and David Crosby singing "back up" to other artists. It was watching -and listening to- James Taylor, whose voice seems perfect to my ears, singing Stephen Stills' "Love the One You're With." (I've never been able to figure out those lyrics. Is this some call to relationships anytime and anywhere with anyone, or is he saying "there may be some perfect ideal out there but love the person God has put in your life?")

Taylor is such a star he might have said, "I'll sing only my own hits. Everyone else can join in on 'Sweet Baby James' or 'Up on the Roof" or 'Fire and Rain' but they'll be doing my songs...my music." No, there this extraordinary singer was gladly singing songs made popular by other artists. And he was singing back-up to people like Paul Simon!

Stars stepping to the back of the stage. Out of the lights. Singing backup so others could shine.

I shook my head. Listened to the music. And thought about how that is a pretty good model for relationships...for friendships...for citizenship...for marriage...for life as a Jesus follower.

Jesus gave us an example. He washed the feet of the disciples. He talked about how greatness is really all about becoming small...living as a servant...not fighting over a seat at the head table.

Paul, the first century Christian missionary pastor, talked about being a part of the Body. All of us connected. All of us having a role to play. Paul talked about giving the humblest part honor.

When life is all about me, when we insist on being in the spotlight and having everyone (and everything) else revolve around us, nothing else seems to work. Selfishness wrecks churches, friendships, marriages, and nations.

James Taylor...sweet baby James...singing back up! Wow...superstars doing their best in the shadows.

Come on, people of Jesus, let's rock! Outdo one another in showing respect...affection...honor.

Lights in the Night.

Thursday evening we headed east on the toll road. One of the odd things about my life is that unless I spend time with our two granddaughters, I don't get a day off. So although we had seen the kids over Thanksgiving, we were headed towards Columbus, Ohio.

The sky was thick with dark clouds. The sunlight slipped sideways out of the world. I was sitting, doing some work, reading the paper, and thinking...as Sharon drove.

We took the toll road into Ohio, and then headed south on state highway #49. You miss Fort Wayne but the highway has twists and turns. Takes you through one small town after the other.

I was surprised to find myself delighted by the Christmas tree lights in the yards...and in the homes along the way. The night was very dark. The world was cold. And we would drive by these houses where the Christmas lights -especially the trees decorated with all white lights- seemed to be calling us all inside. Promising warmth. Home. Someplace where we could be ourselves.

A CD of Christmas music -by the Christian rock band 3rd Day- was playing. The lights... the homes...the music...all combined to produce all sorts of feelings and memories.

I found myself thinking of our church's work, right now, to become even more welcoming. To strangers and guests. So that people who are hungry for God, for truth, for grace, will feel like they are home when they walk through our doors. I thought about churches that are like those houses with no lights hung by the windows...churches that look cold and dark and lifeless. And I thought about how churches -and individuals- sends messages out to the world that their hearts are open.

And I thought about times when our family...is together. What it feels like to have everyone under the same roof. Sometimes there are tensions...challenges...but almost always it is so very good!

I thought about the Christmas in Belguim, when I was a boy, and my folks were thinking of adopting a young Belgian child. A boy. He came to the house for a visit. I can't remember his name or face. But for whatever reason my parents chose not to take that step.

I thought about my Mom. Sometimes, you know, there are moments when you miss someone so much you think your heart will burst. I was thinking about my Mom...who was wonderful and strange and passionate and distracted and always late and full of love for God. Then, as we stopped at a stoplight in a small Ohio town, I looked over at a store window. The owner had hung four old stockings in the window as a part of a Christmas decoration. One of the stockings
-a red one- happened to have the name Anita inscribed in large script. My Mom's name was Anita. I smiled. The light turned green and we began moving south, again.

The lights along the way make the darkness more than bearable, don't they?

Interesting how Jesus, John explains, was light coming into the darkness. And the darkness has not overcome it.

The Ding & the Bass Line.

Giving your life to Jesus for full-time ministry is a journey full of blessings. However, there is a part to this -as there is to any line of work- that involves carrying a cross.

One of the toughest parts of this is the realization that you cannot -nor should you- please everyone. You do your best for God, and some people -and they are great, good people- head the other direction. I call those "dings." Sometimes I understand the reasons and sometimes I don't. Just two months ago a woman caught me after worship, thanked me for my ministry, told me Trinity's ministry needs to be on a national stage, and then just weeks ago I found out she was leaving the church. Hmmm....figure that out. I dare you.

The crazy thing is that 98% of everything can be going right in a great church like Trinity, and that 2% that criticize, pull back, withdraw...that really stings. Those are "dings" to the heart and soul. You tell yourself not to care so much. You tell yourself that no one church or pastor is for everyone. You tell yourself different people need different styles of ministry. You tell yourself that Jesus was always getting clobbered by those who didn't understand him or who thought he was getting it all wrong. And it still stings.

So the other day I had this "ding." It was a pretty good "ding." Great stuff...people growing their giving to God in a tough environment...notes from people about what Trinity means to them...a report about the $25,000+ our church will have given to a community food ministry this year...and the "ding" hurt.

Do you know what I did?

Well, first I prayed. That's always good. Because being strongly connected to God is the key to having the ability to endure...bounce back from...the "dings." God opens our eyes to a bigger picture and reminds us that our value is not based on pleasing people.

The second thing I did is I told a couple of very close friends I had been "dinged." They understood. The one, also a pastor, sent me a note saying leadership is tough and sometimes lonely. He told me "hang in there."

The third thing is I made a very careful, very strategic selection of music to listen to as I drove across town. I have a great collection of rock and roll, country, and classical (not so much jazz). Some of the rock is soft...introspective...quiet...deep. I didn't think that was going to help me. That kind of music might put me deeper into "ding-land." So it came down to a new CD, The Monsters of Folk, or two older CD's - "Help" by the Beatles or "The Ultimate Collection" by the Temptations.

I made a good choice: I chose the Temptations. (If you aren't familiar with Motown music it's never too late to get that kind of musical salvation! Listen in on Smoky Robinson and Martha Reeves and Stevie Wonder and The Four Tops and The Supremes and The Temptations.) What started me smiling were those amazing, opening notes by the bass on "My Girl." How can the "dings" have you permanently when you hear that bass line and the sweet voices of the Temptations sing: "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May. I guess you say 'What can make me feel this way?' My girl! My girl! Talking 'bout my girl. I've got so much honey the bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees."

Jesus saves. I know that. And am so thankful!

But good music helps, you know? Especially with the "dings."

Young Blood.

There is this thing that happens to young adults. Even if they have been raised in the church, or in a family of Jesus followers, they tend to drift disappear between the ages of 18 and their late 20's.

In the past many people had grown up with a spiritual foundation. They knew the story of Jesus. They had a basic knowledge of things like the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, etc. So even though they might slip away from the church after heading into the service, or going off to Purdue or Indiana State or Western Michigan, they would have a spiritual foundation to fall back on -when getting married or having children would bring them back to the church. Not anymore. More and more folks seem to be raising with little or no spiritual foundation.

So our church -and we're not alone in this- has set reaching 16-32 year olds as our #1 ministry priority for 2010. We're not sure quite how to do that but we know God is calling us to try. Just after our Administrative Board voted to do this, I read an article saying that the church needs to challenge young adults to grow up and participate in the full life of the fellowship
-instead of creating new worship services for a particular age group.

We'll start by asking questions of young adults inside and outside the church. We'll start by knowing we don't know what to do. (Admitting your ignorance, being humble enough to be open, is a good place to start in a lot of areas of life!)

We'll start by praying. Prayer is always the only way to get from here to there in a good way.

And we'll start by reading. Last night I began a book by Dan Kimball...a leading spokesperson for the "emergent" Christian movement.

Here is what I am learning so far:

Young adults want real -not glitz and entertainment.

Young adults want real community. They want a place where they can be honest. Where people love. Where people are gracious. Where people are courageous.

Young adults want to change the world. They want to live lives of impact. They aren't interested in just showing up...phoning in their life...going through the motions.

So here we go.

Wonder where this journey is going to end up?

Always a Little Messy.

It is easy for the previous generation to look as if it were made up of giants...heroes who saw things clearly. They may have been more ordinary than we imagine.

Remember in high school when, as a freshman or sophomore, you regarded the seniors as if they were gods walking the earth? Then, you became a senior and you felt...so...ordinary.

It is also easy to think that the messy way we move through change, today, is very unlike the clear, thoughtful, courageous way our forefathers and foremothers worked through change. My hunch, though is change is almost always messy...and the people who lead through it are often making up things as they go along.

Right now the United Methodist Church in Indiana is going through lots of change. Two annual conferences becoming one. New structures being put in place. New leaders. New processes. On and on and on. This afternoon many of the pastors and laity of northcentral and northwestern Indiana met at LaPorte for the first meeting of the Northern District.

Our leader is the Reverend Cindy Reynolds. She is one cool person! And she will lead this new herd of cats with as much faith and love and courage as any human could muster, but the change will be messy. Progress will come with two steps forward and one step back.

Change is messy. We see that in Washington right now with the whole healthcare debate. We see that as our national leaders try to sort out options in Afghanistan. We see that in our own community as the leaders of Elkhart County scratch their heads, look at the challenges, and search for new ways forward.

Change is messy.

And it is often led by people who are doing their best to figure out the next step.

The early Christian church faced a huge decision: would Jewish Christians need to be circumcised before becoming Jesus followers and members of the Church. They held this big conference or council in Jerusalem. It looks pretty neat and simple and clean, if you look in the book of Acts, but the truth is I think it was a mess. Even with people praying and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

So if you are frustrated by the mess in your life, our country, or your church...maybe that's just the way we get from here to there. The way progress and change takes place.

The Downside of a Good Sermon.

Preaching is such a strange thing...such an odd art.

Last weekend I felt nearly dead. Had been without a voice for most of the week.

When it's time for worship, though, it's time for worship. So I gathered up my notes (the manuscript is left in the office and I place a small card with some handwritten notes in my Bible), and headed across the street to preach. I wasn't sure I would get through all four weekend services.

But I did.

And, strangely enough, more than a few people told me it was the best sermon they have heard me preach in the last 12 1/2 years. One of the best parts of the message turned out to be a story I told about my youngest coming home from New York City on a Friday afternoon to ski with me. Being right outside the lake cottage when I was wondering where he was. It was a story I had not even thought of including in the sermon...didn't have it written down. A last- minute thing.

Just goes to show.

As I worked on the message for this weekend, I found myself feeling the pressure to match or top whatever God did in our worship last weekend. That kind of feeling is not a good feeling, let me tell you.

I think preaching is like prayer: it's the way a lifetime of it shapes you. Shapes others. Preaching is not a series of "talks" disconnected or isolated from one another.

That is what people miss when they are in worship only now and then. We have occasional attenders. They're sort of like someone who shows up at a restaurant every Thursday when the special is meatloaf and then they complain because of the lack of variety on the menu. They miss the All-U-Can-Eat Fish on Friday and the Pasta Night on Tuesday. They aren't there. And then they complain because the only special is meatloaf.

Sermons to a congregation are a conversation over the long haul. One message building on the other. Continuing a dialogue.

I don't know what this weekend is going to be like. Long ago I gave up predicting how a message would work...well or not. There is an unpredictable, Holy Spirit part of all this. Sometimes the preacher has worked hard, the pieces seem to be in place for a powerful moment, and things are flat. Other weekends you come exhausted, with a voice that has been reduced to a whisper, not sure if you'll make it...and God shows up in a convincing, powerful, soulful way. You never know.

Sermons are a dialogue...a continuing conversation as the congregation, the preacher and God travel together.

They are also a gift the preacher makes to Jesus. Like the rather crudely made clay bowls made by children in a kindergarten class, the sermon is my weekly gift to the Savior who loves me and died for me on the cross...who lives and reigns. "See what I have made for you this week, Lord" I say. Holding out what I have worked to make...