The news out of Haiti is shocking. There is part of us that stands in shocked fascination, in horror, and another part of us that wants to run and hide. Pull the covers up. Watch "American Idol" and eat a bag of popcorn or go shopping or read Sports Illustrated.
But there is a deeper part: a part of us that is eager to help. To do something. That is what the people of our church -and many churches- will be doing this weekend: receiving an offering.
I am confident that we, with others, will send a mission team. Right now, though, experts say the worst thing we can is rush down there. Experts are assessing what needs to happen first. Laying out a plan. Governments and non-governmental organizations (NGO's) like United Methodist Committee on Relief, Church World Service, the Red Cross, Lutheran Relief, Doctors without Borders, will play their part.
Two things trouble me. First, is the comment by another UM pastor dismissing the great work of United Methodist Committee on Relief...he and his church have another, better way of helping. He says. That kind of attitude is sad.
Second, are the comments by "Christian" tv personality Pat Robertson. Explaining the misery of Haiti is due to their being cursed. Because they made a pact with the devil in their desire to be free of the French. This is stomach-churning stuff. These are the kinds of comments that turn the world off to Christianity. The friends of Job, in the Old Testament, showed up with an explanation for his suffering and their comments caused more damage than helped.
Today, this week, is a time to use few words and to act. We will be doing more in the months and years to come because this nation to our south may need to be rebuilt from the ground up.
Pray.
Give.
Use few words.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Sky is Falling Approach to Church.
Money is always an interesting part of church life. People tell me they get tired of us, in the church, talking about money...faithfulness with that stuff in our wallets and 401.k accounts. Truth is I have never -that I know of- had a tither (someone who gives at least 10% of their income/monetary resources to God) ever make that complaint! Givers don't mind being encouraged to give because they find joy in giving.
I remind them Jesus talked about money a lot. Because you'll find our heart where our treasure is. I'm told Martin Luther said the last part of a Christian to get wet, when they are baptized, is their wallet. If Luther didn't say it, he should have!
The week before Christmas and the week after Christmas I came across two email messages from pastors of mega-churches to their congregations. Both messages were rather strident challenges for people to give generously at the end of the year. Rick Warren, a really extraordinary pastor of a great church, sent a note to their people at Saddleback saying the weekend after Christmas the offerings were down and the church was $900,000 in the red.
I don't know all the details (I know...then stop before you say another word!), but something feels very wrong when the church runs close enough to financial disaster that one bad weekend can shove the whole operation into the red.
Jesus talks about counting the cost before we begin a construction project. In the book of Genesis Joseph helps the leader of Egypt anticipate the seven years of famine that will follow seven years of above-average harvests.
Churches shouldn't be financial storehouses. Piling up every dollar they can get their hands on. i tell our people that God wants them to give, and the church should spend nearly every dollar it can on ministry and mission outreach. However, I think maybe church leaders should plan more carefully. Not be pushing the financial "red line" -even when God is doing great and creative stuff.
Things work best when church leaders are faithful and reasonable in their planning. And when the people of God are faithful in their giving.
Oh, by the way, the weather report for this weekend looks scary. Attendance could be down in our services. Which means giving drops. So I'm just saying...
I remind them Jesus talked about money a lot. Because you'll find our heart where our treasure is. I'm told Martin Luther said the last part of a Christian to get wet, when they are baptized, is their wallet. If Luther didn't say it, he should have!
The week before Christmas and the week after Christmas I came across two email messages from pastors of mega-churches to their congregations. Both messages were rather strident challenges for people to give generously at the end of the year. Rick Warren, a really extraordinary pastor of a great church, sent a note to their people at Saddleback saying the weekend after Christmas the offerings were down and the church was $900,000 in the red.
I don't know all the details (I know...then stop before you say another word!), but something feels very wrong when the church runs close enough to financial disaster that one bad weekend can shove the whole operation into the red.
Jesus talks about counting the cost before we begin a construction project. In the book of Genesis Joseph helps the leader of Egypt anticipate the seven years of famine that will follow seven years of above-average harvests.
Churches shouldn't be financial storehouses. Piling up every dollar they can get their hands on. i tell our people that God wants them to give, and the church should spend nearly every dollar it can on ministry and mission outreach. However, I think maybe church leaders should plan more carefully. Not be pushing the financial "red line" -even when God is doing great and creative stuff.
Things work best when church leaders are faithful and reasonable in their planning. And when the people of God are faithful in their giving.
Oh, by the way, the weather report for this weekend looks scary. Attendance could be down in our services. Which means giving drops. So I'm just saying...
You Came Back for Me!
Christmas Eve is never a time when pastors can lounge with the family, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the season. We're working. We're like police officers at the Rose Bowl Parade. We can't spend much time looking at the floats because we have work to do.
Our three adult sons were here over Christmas. Which was just an amazing gift! There is something sweeter than words about having your children sleeping under the same roof, at home, you know? It's like things are back where they are supposed to be.
Our two young granddaughters arrived, with their parents, after I had left for church on Christmas Eve. Right before the 9 o'clock service Ella, the 27-month old, was walking through the lobby with her Grandma. Ella looked lovely and when she saw me she leaned her head over with quiet delight, and I nearly bounced off the carpet.
That night, after worship, the family headed home. I helped shut down the church and followed. When I came through the door, Ella came to me and said, "You came back for me! You came back for me!" I smiled. Said, "I will always come back for you."
Saturday morning, after Christmas, I led a funeral service. By the time that was over, and I had returned from Goshen where the burial service had been, most of the morning was gone. When I walked through the front door, Ella came running towards me with a smile. "You came back to me! You came back to me!"
Love means we come back.
The Christian faith talks about a God who comes back. Jesus appears in the garden outside the tomb where he has been buried. He slips into a room in Jerusalem, through locked doors, to visit with his friends and followers. The risen Christ is standing on the edge of the Sea of Galilee, in John 21, and has some fishing advice for his friends. The New Testament talks at length about the return of God to begin a new age on the earth. We call this "the second coming."
Ella says, "You came back to me." But we can't always come back. I think of that, on this first day of 2010, with the news of the deaths of service personnel and CIA officers in distant lands. There are men and women who won't come back to the ones they love, but that failure to return is not a sign that the love was imperfect or partial. Things happen to pull us away from the ones we love more than words can say.
There will be a day when I won't come back for Ella. I'll leave and not come back. Time and death will do that. They'll pull me away from her.
Paul, in 1st Corinthians 13, talks about love lasting forever. Faith, hope and love remain, he says. I take great comfort in that.
"You came back to me," she says. I'll keep doing that as long as I can. And when I can't come back to you, I hope you'll be on a first-name basis with the God whose love outlasts time.
Our three adult sons were here over Christmas. Which was just an amazing gift! There is something sweeter than words about having your children sleeping under the same roof, at home, you know? It's like things are back where they are supposed to be.
Our two young granddaughters arrived, with their parents, after I had left for church on Christmas Eve. Right before the 9 o'clock service Ella, the 27-month old, was walking through the lobby with her Grandma. Ella looked lovely and when she saw me she leaned her head over with quiet delight, and I nearly bounced off the carpet.
That night, after worship, the family headed home. I helped shut down the church and followed. When I came through the door, Ella came to me and said, "You came back for me! You came back for me!" I smiled. Said, "I will always come back for you."
Saturday morning, after Christmas, I led a funeral service. By the time that was over, and I had returned from Goshen where the burial service had been, most of the morning was gone. When I walked through the front door, Ella came running towards me with a smile. "You came back to me! You came back to me!"
Love means we come back.
The Christian faith talks about a God who comes back. Jesus appears in the garden outside the tomb where he has been buried. He slips into a room in Jerusalem, through locked doors, to visit with his friends and followers. The risen Christ is standing on the edge of the Sea of Galilee, in John 21, and has some fishing advice for his friends. The New Testament talks at length about the return of God to begin a new age on the earth. We call this "the second coming."
Ella says, "You came back to me." But we can't always come back. I think of that, on this first day of 2010, with the news of the deaths of service personnel and CIA officers in distant lands. There are men and women who won't come back to the ones they love, but that failure to return is not a sign that the love was imperfect or partial. Things happen to pull us away from the ones we love more than words can say.
There will be a day when I won't come back for Ella. I'll leave and not come back. Time and death will do that. They'll pull me away from her.
Paul, in 1st Corinthians 13, talks about love lasting forever. Faith, hope and love remain, he says. I take great comfort in that.
"You came back to me," she says. I'll keep doing that as long as I can. And when I can't come back to you, I hope you'll be on a first-name basis with the God whose love outlasts time.
What's New?
The act of opening up a new calendar brings with it this hope...that things will be different.
Not everything.
We -most of us- don't want everything to be different. Because there are some pretty cool parts of life. Even when the stock market was tanking, even when people were being laid off, even when people were panicking over H1N1, there has been good in 2009. So we don't want everything to change...to be different.
But there is something about opening that new calendar, looking at that white space on each day of January 2010, and for just a few moments our hearts beat a little faster with the prospect that we can overcome some self-destructive fear or addiction. For just a moment we think about starting over in a friendship or bringing new energy and passion to our marriage. Or with God.
Here's the thing: opening a new calendar doesn't mean a thing if we don't do life differently. And that will involve risk. I think about the short tax collector named Zacchaeus. We meet him in the New Testament. He has a reputation as a tool of the hated Roman Empire. He does their dirty work for them -draining tax dollars out of his Jewish neighbors and friends. And, my hunch tells me, he -like most tax collectors- bent the truth to get a little extra. Because everything extra went straight into the tax collector's pocket! So Jesus shows up, hangs out with Zacchaeus, and the man changes. Becomes a giver.
I wonder what people in that town thought when they heard Zacchaeus talking about giving back way more than he ever took from people unfairly. I wonder if people laughed. If they smiled when Zacchaeus talked about changing and said, "Yeah. Right. I'll believe it when I see it."
Sometimes we don't make it easy for people to change. We keep rubbing their noses in their past. Who they have been.
"What will you say 'no' to so that you can devote your life to the things that really count most?" I asked a friend the other day. I know it is a tough thing to do - and I am fearful that I won't have the courage to make the changes I know God needs for me to make in 2010.
A new calendar won't mean a thing if we don't make some different decisions.
Not everything.
We -most of us- don't want everything to be different. Because there are some pretty cool parts of life. Even when the stock market was tanking, even when people were being laid off, even when people were panicking over H1N1, there has been good in 2009. So we don't want everything to change...to be different.
But there is something about opening that new calendar, looking at that white space on each day of January 2010, and for just a few moments our hearts beat a little faster with the prospect that we can overcome some self-destructive fear or addiction. For just a moment we think about starting over in a friendship or bringing new energy and passion to our marriage. Or with God.
Here's the thing: opening a new calendar doesn't mean a thing if we don't do life differently. And that will involve risk. I think about the short tax collector named Zacchaeus. We meet him in the New Testament. He has a reputation as a tool of the hated Roman Empire. He does their dirty work for them -draining tax dollars out of his Jewish neighbors and friends. And, my hunch tells me, he -like most tax collectors- bent the truth to get a little extra. Because everything extra went straight into the tax collector's pocket! So Jesus shows up, hangs out with Zacchaeus, and the man changes. Becomes a giver.
I wonder what people in that town thought when they heard Zacchaeus talking about giving back way more than he ever took from people unfairly. I wonder if people laughed. If they smiled when Zacchaeus talked about changing and said, "Yeah. Right. I'll believe it when I see it."
Sometimes we don't make it easy for people to change. We keep rubbing their noses in their past. Who they have been.
"What will you say 'no' to so that you can devote your life to the things that really count most?" I asked a friend the other day. I know it is a tough thing to do - and I am fearful that I won't have the courage to make the changes I know God needs for me to make in 2010.
A new calendar won't mean a thing if we don't make some different decisions.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Suffering Well.
The Village Church is a booming congregation in the Fort Worth area. Friends of ours moved to Texas about six years ago, and they have made The Village their church home.
Several years ago a youth pastor at the church was electrocuted at a baptismal service and died. A power cord was somehow in contact with the metal frame of the baptistry. It was an awful loss, but the church continued to grow...reach out.
Four weeks ago my friend emailed me a notice from the congregation. Their young Lead Pastor, Matt Chandler, had a siezure on Thanksgiving Day. Tests were run. A brain tumor was discovered. Surgery was scheduled. The entire congregation -which was just moving in to a new worship center- prayed and waited for the biopsy results to come back.
They did. The people at The Village Church know the results: the tumor was malignant. Surgery got most of it -but not all of it.
When I read the email to the congregation, I began to cry for this young family...this congregation. I called my buddy. He told me Matt, the Pastor at The Village, was in rehab. He was having a tough time with his language skills. My buddy said Matt got out of the hospital for the weekend so he and his wife, Lauren, could go out on a date.
The note to the congregation asked them to keep praying for their pastor, his wife, and their three children. The people were asked to respect the privacy of the Chandlers, and not to visit without first being invited to come by.
Then, the email made two important points.
First, "As you hurt and weep for the family, do not do it alone." Which is a good word for every single one of us. Often, when we are hurt or scared or we fail, we want to slip away. Become invisible. Hanging in there, staying connected with our friends, showing up at church, seems like such work...and we go it alone. Always...always...always...a big mistake! Paul, in the New Testament (Romans 12:15), talks about being connected...weeping with those who weep, and rejoicing with those who rejoice.
Second, the email asked that people pray "The Chandlers and The Village would suffer well and for the sake of Christ's name." That may be a shocking statement for those of us in North America who assume that hanging out with Jesus means we won't suffer.
We don't talk much, in the church, about suffering well. Which is a real disservice to the people of God. One of the lessons the Bible wants to teach us is how to suffer well.
What would it look like to suffer well? Paul, in 2nd Corinthians 4, talks about what it is like to "be hard pressed on every side." He talks about what it is like to be "crushed" and "perplexed" and "struck down."
Then, the first century missionary pastor talks about keeping our eyes on the glory of God in the face of Christ, letting his light shine out of us. Paul reminds the Corinthians that the resurrection of Christ is something to focus on...as we trust God will raise us up to new life even when we are going through tough junk. Don't lose heart, Paul says, but trust God to be at work in us renewing us...growing us...deepening us...even when stuff is overwhelming.
"We fix our eyes not on what is seen," Paul says, "but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
The writer of Corinthians makes a statement (4:17) worth remembering: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."
I'm not sure I am smart enough to make a list of everything that constitutes suffering well.
I do think, however, it involves trusting God. Focusing on the power and love and faithfulness of God. Refusing to give in to the temptation to become bitter...or withdraw from God, our friends, and the church. Suffering well may mean looking for ways to give and serve and bless others, even as we hurt and ache and tire. Finally, suffering well may mean trusting that God is able to work for good in every situation (Romans 8:28).
I'm praying for Matt and Lauren Chandler. I'm praying for their three children. I'm praying for the people of The Village Church and everyone touched by the life of that congregation
And I am praying that you and I are learning the important art of suffering well.
Several years ago a youth pastor at the church was electrocuted at a baptismal service and died. A power cord was somehow in contact with the metal frame of the baptistry. It was an awful loss, but the church continued to grow...reach out.
Four weeks ago my friend emailed me a notice from the congregation. Their young Lead Pastor, Matt Chandler, had a siezure on Thanksgiving Day. Tests were run. A brain tumor was discovered. Surgery was scheduled. The entire congregation -which was just moving in to a new worship center- prayed and waited for the biopsy results to come back.
They did. The people at The Village Church know the results: the tumor was malignant. Surgery got most of it -but not all of it.
When I read the email to the congregation, I began to cry for this young family...this congregation. I called my buddy. He told me Matt, the Pastor at The Village, was in rehab. He was having a tough time with his language skills. My buddy said Matt got out of the hospital for the weekend so he and his wife, Lauren, could go out on a date.
The note to the congregation asked them to keep praying for their pastor, his wife, and their three children. The people were asked to respect the privacy of the Chandlers, and not to visit without first being invited to come by.
Then, the email made two important points.
First, "As you hurt and weep for the family, do not do it alone." Which is a good word for every single one of us. Often, when we are hurt or scared or we fail, we want to slip away. Become invisible. Hanging in there, staying connected with our friends, showing up at church, seems like such work...and we go it alone. Always...always...always...a big mistake! Paul, in the New Testament (Romans 12:15), talks about being connected...weeping with those who weep, and rejoicing with those who rejoice.
Second, the email asked that people pray "The Chandlers and The Village would suffer well and for the sake of Christ's name." That may be a shocking statement for those of us in North America who assume that hanging out with Jesus means we won't suffer.
We don't talk much, in the church, about suffering well. Which is a real disservice to the people of God. One of the lessons the Bible wants to teach us is how to suffer well.
What would it look like to suffer well? Paul, in 2nd Corinthians 4, talks about what it is like to "be hard pressed on every side." He talks about what it is like to be "crushed" and "perplexed" and "struck down."
Then, the first century missionary pastor talks about keeping our eyes on the glory of God in the face of Christ, letting his light shine out of us. Paul reminds the Corinthians that the resurrection of Christ is something to focus on...as we trust God will raise us up to new life even when we are going through tough junk. Don't lose heart, Paul says, but trust God to be at work in us renewing us...growing us...deepening us...even when stuff is overwhelming.
"We fix our eyes not on what is seen," Paul says, "but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
The writer of Corinthians makes a statement (4:17) worth remembering: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."
I'm not sure I am smart enough to make a list of everything that constitutes suffering well.
I do think, however, it involves trusting God. Focusing on the power and love and faithfulness of God. Refusing to give in to the temptation to become bitter...or withdraw from God, our friends, and the church. Suffering well may mean looking for ways to give and serve and bless others, even as we hurt and ache and tire. Finally, suffering well may mean trusting that God is able to work for good in every situation (Romans 8:28).
I'm praying for Matt and Lauren Chandler. I'm praying for their three children. I'm praying for the people of The Village Church and everyone touched by the life of that congregation
And I am praying that you and I are learning the important art of suffering well.
The Fairy Engineer.
The other night our son called and turned his i-Phone over to our 27-month old granddaughter, Ella. She got on the phone and we had the longest phone conversation we've ever had. She chatted about coming to Elkhart for Christmas: "I going to the house. I going to the house." We talked about a slide she had been playing on.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a burst of conversation. Which ended with her breathlessly saying, "Hold on a second. I be right back!" Then, I would hear her walking around the house with the i-Phone on speakerphone...talking with Mommy and Daddy.
If I was quiet, when she came back on, she would rather sharply say, "GRANDPA!" I would reassure her that I was there. We'd talk some more and then she'd say, again, "Hold on a second. I be right back!" My son said, "How does it feel being put on hold by your 2-year old granddaughter?"
Late in the conversation I heard her ask her Mommy to help her put on her Tinkerbell outfit. With wings. Then, a minute or so later, she was sitting on the living room floor running a very simple Lionel train. The phone had been put down near the train, and the phone picked up the sound of the locomotive and rolling stock rounding the curves. I could hear the train coming... and the train going. Then, she blew the whistle on the train.
Kind of crazy, you know? She was sitting there in a green Tinkerbell outfit, with wings on her back, running a train. I don't know what kind of a world it is where a little girl wears a fairy outfit and runs a train, but I think it is pretty amazing...and cool. I pray that when she grows up and becomes reasonable, mature, she never loses the part of her that delights in wearing fairy wings and dreaming magical dreams.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a burst of conversation. Which ended with her breathlessly saying, "Hold on a second. I be right back!" Then, I would hear her walking around the house with the i-Phone on speakerphone...talking with Mommy and Daddy.
If I was quiet, when she came back on, she would rather sharply say, "GRANDPA!" I would reassure her that I was there. We'd talk some more and then she'd say, again, "Hold on a second. I be right back!" My son said, "How does it feel being put on hold by your 2-year old granddaughter?"
Late in the conversation I heard her ask her Mommy to help her put on her Tinkerbell outfit. With wings. Then, a minute or so later, she was sitting on the living room floor running a very simple Lionel train. The phone had been put down near the train, and the phone picked up the sound of the locomotive and rolling stock rounding the curves. I could hear the train coming... and the train going. Then, she blew the whistle on the train.
Kind of crazy, you know? She was sitting there in a green Tinkerbell outfit, with wings on her back, running a train. I don't know what kind of a world it is where a little girl wears a fairy outfit and runs a train, but I think it is pretty amazing...and cool. I pray that when she grows up and becomes reasonable, mature, she never loses the part of her that delights in wearing fairy wings and dreaming magical dreams.
Air Brushed Christians: a Word for the Holidays.
Our oldest son lives in Columbus, Ohio. A friend of his has a tough job: air brushing the pictures of the models whose pictures will be used in the catalogue at Victoria's Secret. Or whose pictures will be posted in the stores.
When I heard that, I wondered what constitutes a bad day for the company artist. I wonder if this young guy's wife understands when he complains about a long day...deadlines?
This may come as a shock to you, but these seemingly perfect women aren't perfect. The leaders of the company, though, want any imperfections covered over...removed.
Sometimes we are guilty, in the church, of airbrushing our lives. We want any sign of weakness or fear or failure removed. We do our best to hide all that. Not sure why we -why I- do that but I suspect it has to do with not trusting people to love us, or want to be with us, if they knew just how ragged around the edges we sometimes are. Truth is the temptation to airbrush the fears and sin and imperfection out of our lives is evidence of our lack of trust in God's grace. "How could a holy God want anything to do with a creature who has been known to yell at his kids, or who has trouble controlling his mouth, or can't get over the bitterness of a long ago divorce?" we think. So we airbrush. We hide the sad or scared or mean stuff.
I was thinking about that this afternoon. As we approach Christmas. A tv ad for Budweiser showed a team of horses pulling a perfect wagon through a gentle snowstorm. It showed a perfect white farm house with a perfect green wreath, with a perfect red bow, on the front of the house. We see these images of perfect holiday gatherings. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and loving children, a well behaved dog wagging its tail to the beat of a Christmas carol. We see people in a warm home, gifts wrapped and piled beneath a tree, folks holding hands around the dinner table for prayer...and it all just seems so...perfect.
If you are thinking you are the only one in the world whose life is ragged, if you think you are the only one who gets overwhelmed or lonely during the holidays, I have news for you: few families, few relationships, and few holiday gatherings are as perfect as the idealized pictures show them to be. A lot of people get tired....during the holidays. A lot of people feel overwhelmed. A lot of people have moments of loneliness.
Two weeks ago I was coming back from a meeting in central Indiana. I called a person I love very much to tell them I was thinking about them. I called to check in on them. Our conversation went from bad to worse. At the end she was shouting at me and I was shouting back. "I called to tell you I love you!" I said into the phone. "Don't you get it?" She shouted back. I said, "This isn't good for either one of us" and I hung up on her. Twice...because she called back and started yelling again. I was driving through deep darkness, on a rainy night, in Whitley County. By the time I got home my body was humming...electric...with sadness. Disappointment. How can families and friendships get so sideways?
The dirty little secret is many of us, even in the Christian community, do our best to airbrush this stuff out. But it is still there...
Paul, in his letters, is so honest! He doesn't appear to be trying to airbrush the sin and struggle out of his life. In Romans 7 he talks about his struggle with sin. Paul looks at his heart, his soul, and describes what he finds as a war (:23) Then, Paul says God has the power -in Jesus Christ- to deliver him from that war. He begins the next chapter by saying "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Maybe God loves us so much that we can stop airbrushing. Be honest. And let God's love do some deep healing.
When I heard that, I wondered what constitutes a bad day for the company artist. I wonder if this young guy's wife understands when he complains about a long day...deadlines?
This may come as a shock to you, but these seemingly perfect women aren't perfect. The leaders of the company, though, want any imperfections covered over...removed.
Sometimes we are guilty, in the church, of airbrushing our lives. We want any sign of weakness or fear or failure removed. We do our best to hide all that. Not sure why we -why I- do that but I suspect it has to do with not trusting people to love us, or want to be with us, if they knew just how ragged around the edges we sometimes are. Truth is the temptation to airbrush the fears and sin and imperfection out of our lives is evidence of our lack of trust in God's grace. "How could a holy God want anything to do with a creature who has been known to yell at his kids, or who has trouble controlling his mouth, or can't get over the bitterness of a long ago divorce?" we think. So we airbrush. We hide the sad or scared or mean stuff.
I was thinking about that this afternoon. As we approach Christmas. A tv ad for Budweiser showed a team of horses pulling a perfect wagon through a gentle snowstorm. It showed a perfect white farm house with a perfect green wreath, with a perfect red bow, on the front of the house. We see these images of perfect holiday gatherings. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and loving children, a well behaved dog wagging its tail to the beat of a Christmas carol. We see people in a warm home, gifts wrapped and piled beneath a tree, folks holding hands around the dinner table for prayer...and it all just seems so...perfect.
If you are thinking you are the only one in the world whose life is ragged, if you think you are the only one who gets overwhelmed or lonely during the holidays, I have news for you: few families, few relationships, and few holiday gatherings are as perfect as the idealized pictures show them to be. A lot of people get tired....during the holidays. A lot of people feel overwhelmed. A lot of people have moments of loneliness.
Two weeks ago I was coming back from a meeting in central Indiana. I called a person I love very much to tell them I was thinking about them. I called to check in on them. Our conversation went from bad to worse. At the end she was shouting at me and I was shouting back. "I called to tell you I love you!" I said into the phone. "Don't you get it?" She shouted back. I said, "This isn't good for either one of us" and I hung up on her. Twice...because she called back and started yelling again. I was driving through deep darkness, on a rainy night, in Whitley County. By the time I got home my body was humming...electric...with sadness. Disappointment. How can families and friendships get so sideways?
The dirty little secret is many of us, even in the Christian community, do our best to airbrush this stuff out. But it is still there...
Paul, in his letters, is so honest! He doesn't appear to be trying to airbrush the sin and struggle out of his life. In Romans 7 he talks about his struggle with sin. Paul looks at his heart, his soul, and describes what he finds as a war (:23) Then, Paul says God has the power -in Jesus Christ- to deliver him from that war. He begins the next chapter by saying "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Maybe God loves us so much that we can stop airbrushing. Be honest. And let God's love do some deep healing.
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