Thanks for the Little Moments.

Life has all sorts of surprises along the way, you know? God shows up and sends our lives off in unexpected directions.

So here we are. Two months ago I was heading back to Trinity for an expected new chapter of 2-4 (more?) years of ministry and life. A phone call came my way a month ago, and now I am sorting files in my office...doing ministry while getting ready to shift to a new place.

An old friend said when there is a pastoral change it is like a congregation is having a funeral while planning for a wedding. There are tears. There is grief. People say, "So soon?" (Of course there may be a few who shrug and say, "How did it take this long for this to happen?") Folks are talking about blessing us, saying goodbye, and at the same time leaders of the church are getting ready for a new chapter. Thinking about a new start with someone God will send our way.

My role is shifting. I can feel it happening as each day goes by. From teaching and guiding my role is shifting to preaching and blessing. Oh, the other day in staff I led our team in a conversation about coaching and leadership and teamwork. But those moments will now slow to trickle and I'll be doing two things: focusing on preaching and blessing people...and receiving blessings.

It's happening all the time. I am getting notes in my email each day. Sweet words. When I go to the Y or step into a coffee shop, people stop me...they talk...they bless me. So getting anywhere can be a slow process! I am intentionally lingering with people...soaking up every blessed moment. Looking people in the eyes.

Preaching, as it always have, will get the best investment of time and heart and soul I have to offer. I remember talking with a pastor, years ago, who in the month before retirement was preaching recycled sermons. That news broke my heart. I thought, "You have a chance to sum up what you believe...what this is all about...to bless your people as they step into a new future... and you are going through the motions." When time is short it isn't time to go on auto-pilot but to use each minute in the pulpit as faithfully and gracefully and honestly as you can.

Things seem lighter. My role is shifting. It's about those blessed little moments when God gives me chances to bless others and receive a blessing. To, as best we can, talk about what God has done in us and between us and through us. They are little moments...but they're not so little.

Ecclesiastes (4) says there is a time for everything. A time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to scatter and a time to gather, a time to embrace and a time to step back, a time to keep and a time to let go: these days are somehow a mixture of holding and letting go. I let go of the work, of the role I may have played, but I am holding onto people...savoring that...every word, every smile, every moment shared.

Watching People Wave Goodbye.

Saturday evening after our worship service I slipped over to the Roosevelt Community Center where the good people of Prairie Street Mennonite Church were celebrating the ministry of their soon-to-depart pastor, the Reverend Andrew Kreider.

The reason I went, sat in a corner of the room, and watched this church family say things like "We love you," "Thanks," and "Goodbye" is -first- that I was invited to the party.

I raced over late, and slipped in after missing the meal, for another reason: Prairie is a lively Christian community and they have been especially strong under Andrew's leadership. You can tell, you can sense, when a congregation has a strong heartbeat. When they are alive. Making a difference. And I have sensed that about Prairie Street. When I heard Andrew had resigned so that he could support his wife in a new chapter in her work, I was surprised and saddened. Because I love this community, I know how healthy, vital churches can make a difference in a neighborhood, and I don't take outstanding pastoral leaders for granted. The truth is people who can do ministry the way Andrew does ministry are few and far between.

So I sat there...and listened to the stories.

As people talked about Andrew's preaching and the movement of the Holy Spirit, I found myself wishing I had slipped over there to worship on a Sunday morning. And I could tell what preaching means to a community of Christians.

I also found myself thinking about the night (or day) when the people at Trinity will gather together to say goodbye to me. Bless me and release me to whatever is next. Who will be there? When will it be? What will people say?

And I sat near the back of the crowd and began praying for that congregation. Every church is much more than the pastor who happens to serve it at the time. I know that. I say that. I remind laity of that when pastors come and go. But I also know that some "matches" are really amazing. Particularly effective. So I was praying because you could hear, in the people's voices, their recognition that this change meant something profound to all of them. While they were saying they were confident the creative ministries and outreach efforts would continue in the future, if you listened closely enough you might have heard them wondering if it would be okay.

I remember when Lucchese's -one of Elkhart's fine local, Italian restaurants- changed bakers. You'd think finding someone to bake the bread your customers have come to know and love would be pretty easy to do. But it -the transition- proved to be tricky. The new baker did it differently...some people liked the change. Others didn't. So the new baker tried to learn the old recipes and also introduce something new.

Guess ministry and baking bread may have a few things in common, when it comes to change and transition.

In this letter to a young Christian leader, 2nd Timothy 4:2-8 (NIV) likens Christian ministry to running a race...being in a 15-round fight:

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction. {3} For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. {4} They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. {5} But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

{6} For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. {7} I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. {8} Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Maybe this sounds odd coming from a pastor, but I am so thankful to those men and women who love Jesus and serve creatively, faithfully...in local congregations. I'm grateful, Andrew. I've been watching from across, town and you have done good work, my friend. Good work!

Roster Changes.

Today we blessed a pastor named Tom Thews who has been on our pastoral staff here at church for the last three and a half years. He is a tall man. With a kind and loving heart. Cares for people and loves Jesus. Tom loves food and photography and his Triumph sports car.

So we had people contribute to a love gift. We invited the congregation to come together today for a noon catered meal. Paula Dill had balloons and cool signs all over the Fellowship Hall where the meal was held. People went into the Sanctuary for a blessing time. We sang a couple of hymns, people said some things, we gave them a gift, and then people gathered around Tom and Linda to pray for them...bless them.

As the lead pastor here I do everything I can to help our congregation thank the pastors who have loved us and served Jesus with us.

I love Tom. He is going to be nearby in a South Bend parish. We'll stay in touch and I expect to see a lot of him.

Still, I felt some sadness. God is going to use Tom and Linda in the new place. Trinity has good things ahead. God is good...God is generous. But I still felt sadness watching people approach Tom and Linda...talk with him... hug them.

A friend tells me grief is cumulative. And I have said "goodbye" to a lot of good friends who have been in ministry with me. I left the staff at Trinity years ago, when I was an associate pastor, and said goodbye to my senior pastor, Mark Blaising. As a lead pastor I have said goodbye to people like Milly McCann, Ted Jansen, Kurt Nichols, Kerry O'Brien, Toni Carmer, and now Tom. I feel every departure. Most of the people I have served with have become dear friends.

I work hard to keep my game face in place. To keep leading. Do my best to see that our church is leaning forward. Moving on. But inside my heart sags a little.

It isn't just a roster change: a friend has stepped out and moved on. They're not walking these halls. They're not on the other side of the wall where I can talk to them, easily. Ask questions. Work together to solve a problem. Laugh at the nuttiness of life.

It isn't just a roster change. Something has changed. For me. For us as a church. A piece of us will be missing because God has tapped Tom on the shoulder and said, "I need you in a new place."

The cool thing, of course, is each one of these people has left something of themselves with us. There is more joy and kindness in our life at Trinity because of Tom. He leaves that with us as a gift.

The Importance of the "G" Word (Goodbye)..

There are different pieces to the art of living well. There are different pieces to the mystery of being a pastor.


One of those is the art of saying "goodbye." When I talk with pastors and lay people I say I am really good at leaving. Saying "goodbye." We're not even close to saying that in this current chapter of life. It'll be a long while, I hunch, before I pack my boxes and leave Trinity. Move on.


But I'm good at leaving. Good at saying "goodbye." I never slip out a side door. I do my best to look people straight in the eyes, tell them I am leaving, tell them what they have meant to me, and tell them why it is time to go. I do my very best to bless the ones who have been walking with me during the current chapter. And I leave. I don't hover. I don't keep ducking back to check up on everyone. To see how my successor is doing. Like the nervous parent of a pre-schooler who isn't sure their child is going to be okay after being left at nursery school. I face people, I linger, I bless people, I say "goodbye," and I head out the door.


We do a pretty good job of welcoming people into the community of the church. We have new member classes. We have a formal ceremony in worship as people take the vows of membership. We hand people a certificate. Shake their hands.


Leaving? That is a different story. Too often people just slip out a side door. I spoke with a friend the other day. Said we had missed them in worship. He kindly explained we hadn't seen them because they were worshipping elsewhere. Okay.


I think people duck out the side door because they feel guilty about leaving a church. Not always. But often. They worry about how people will react. They may have seen other people loaded down with a "guilt trip" when they decided it was time to move on. So they slip out the side door.


Saying "goodbye" is important. When we don't have the chance to say "goodbye" I feel like we have all been cheated. Because we've shared some pretty important moments together.


A friend who serves an area church says, "Just tell me goodbye as you leave. Don't just disappear. I prayed with you through that job search eight years ago. When your daughter was arrested I went to court with you. We went on a mission trip to New Orleans together, and stood side by side rebuilding houses. So don't slip out of my life...our lives...without saying goodbye. It's okay. I'll still love you. We can be friends. If you need to leave then go ahead and leave. But say goodbye."


The summer after his senior year at Elkhart Central, our youngest song would play his favorite CD's after getting home from Creation Windows. One of the songs I heard coming from his room was Andrea Bocelli's "Time to Say Goodbye." It wasn't rock and roll. Seemed like an odd choice.

Tonight, as I wait for Michael to drive down from Chicago O'Hare for Christmas, I am wondering if he played that song as a way of saying goodbye. Sometimes the heart stuff is too much. Words can't hold everything we're saying or feeling. So he played the song. Day after day. Through that summer. Preparing us all for a chapter that was ending, and helping us prepare for the chapter ahead.

The Gospel of John is unique, among the four gospels, for the number of chapters used to describe the last few days Jesus spent with his friends in Jerusalem prior to his arrest. We're told about the last supper, the washing of the disciples' feet, and John reports -in great detail- the "high priestly prayer" Jesus offers on behalf of his friends. God shows us all sorts of truth in the account of those last few days, but one lesson is how much energy Jesus invested in saying goodbye. He didn't slip out a side door. He told his friends what was happening. He told them why it was happening. And he blessed them.

Part of living well is learning the importance of the "G" word.

Don't slip out the side door. Of church. Or of any other significant relationships in your life. Take the time to say goodbye. Heart work can be tough but we'll all survive. The people who love you just want a chance to bless you.

When it's "Time to Say Goodbye" do just that.