God Is on the Other Side of the River.

We read the Bible stories so many times, perhaps, that we lose our ability to see how very real they all are. We know how the story ends, we know God shows up, and so that makes it very tough for us to see how scary it was for Abram and Sarai to pick up and head west towards Canaan. We know God is out there in Sinai, among the rocks and the dry ground and the wild wilderness, so it almost impossible for us to understand the fear in the gut of the Hebrews when Moses and Aaron led them away from the security of Egyptian slavery towards the unknown.

Where was Moses leading them? How was this going to end? They didn't really know and yet they packed their things -quickly!- and headed off. In the direction of two barriers that seemed impassable: the sea and the desert.

We've slipped into March. I am in a new place. The last time I "blogged" we were living north of highway 30. In Elkhart. Now we are south of that by a fair distance. Instead of looking out my study windows to see the St. Joseph River in Elkhart, which had become home in all sorts of deep ways, I look out my study window in Bloomington. To see a small hill on the other side of a creek. I wonder what the trees will look like, on that hill, when the leaves come in this spring.

The Christian way is a life that moves through death and discovers -when we live with God and for Jesus- resurrection on the other side. I have told close friends that my decision to be obedient to the whispers of God in the call to Bloomington meant that I have carried "the cross" of saying goodbye to people I love very, very much. The pain of that leaving was almost more than I could bear. (It was also true when we left New Haven back in 1996 for Elkhart: I thougth I was going to die. A close friend, my associate pastor there, said he thought I would never survive another move.)

Here is the discovery I have made: God is on the other side of the river. When the Hebrews, in Joshua 3, go across the Jordan River they discover God is at work on the other side of the river. There is life on the other side of the wandering time, the leaving chapter, even if it is in a place that isn't familiar as the place you have left.

Whatever river you are facing I want to tell you something I know, something I have experienced: God is on the other side of the river. God is over there in that new chapter with all of its questions and uncertainty.

I find myself being thankful. I find myself lighting up when I see the faces and hear the voices of those in Bloomington who are already becoming living treasure to me.

God is on the other side of the river. I want you to know that.

Looking Back.

Genesis 19:26 tells us Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Many other places in the Bible, though, tell us we are to remember. To tell yesterday's stories to our children and grandchildren. Deuteronomy 4 is all about remembering who God is and how God has been with us, and telling those stories to the kids.

Tonight the rain is coming down outside and I am looking back. I didn't intend to look back. I came into the office tonight to sort through files. (One of the things I try to do is leave a sparkling clean set of files for whoever follows me.) So I have been sorting...tossing...keeping... writing notes on files that need to be re-labeled.

I keep finding things. A wonderful Advent hymn a friend found on the United Methodist web site years ago. I look at the hymn and the words are a gift.

There is a file on The Green Room. Some of you may remember that TUMC got creative as we tried to reach out to young adults, and Trinity opened up a coffee shop in downtown Elkhart. As a place where young adults -and people of all ages- could gather. The coffee was good, the food was just fine, and the music was cool...but we closed it after a few years.

Fifteen years ago Trinity had three Sunday morning worship services. All were wonderful and all were essentially the same. We weren't reaching a new generation. So one of the files I came across is all about the creation of a "Contemporary Worship Task Force." Our leaders were putting that together as early as January of 1997. There are song lists. Some of them would embarrass us now, I suppose. And I remember that week after week, long after the "Celebration!" service was begun (bet you had forgotten that name!), our staff got headaches as we worked through the "bugs" in our primitive sound/projection system. We wanted our worship to glorify God and we wanted it to be excellent in every way...and some weeks it was!

There are names, too. Names of people I married. Names of friends, of saints, like June and John and Helen, whose funeral services I was privileged to lead. People whose faith and love and sense of humor and generosity has marked me forever.

So tonight I am looking back. And I don't feel salty at all. I feel blessed...thankful...gifted.

The words to that Advent hymn by a Jesus follower named Kilgore? They are in part these: I am here in the stars, in the dark of the night. I am always within you, and I am the light. I am who I am, sings the God of my soul. In your waiting and home I am making you whole.

Sometimes stopping and looking back is a very, very good thing, you know?

You Sure Have a Lot of Junk!

One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is having Ella and Olivia here. (Of course, it is very cool having their mom and dad, Joleen and Bryan, and our youngest son, Michael, here!) Ella came into my office here at the house the other night. She looked at the stacks of books on the floor. She noticed a Billy Bass sitting on the floor by the books, the Matchbox cars, the life-size cardboard cutout of Mr. Spock from Star Trek, and laughed, "You sure have a lot of junk, Grandpa!"

We began pushing the red button on the plaque holding Billy Bass, listened to the music, and both girls smiled...danced.

In the middle of the hard work of sorting, packing, and moving there is the opportunity to sort through your junk. Because we all have stuff we pick up along the way, don't we? Some of it may be old cassette tapes or books or Christmas gifts we never used or needed. Or it may be attitudes we were taught...picked up along the way.

I read an article today about a pastor who wanted to plant a church. Through interviews, personality inventories, and checking the pastor's past it turned out that he had an anger problem. When people tried to talk with him about this the man became furious. Confirmed the hunch of the interview team. So with that man the junk he carried with him was a tendency to let anger control.

Another friend lives with the voice of someone who told her, a long time ago, "You'll never do things right...or enough good stuff." So she carries this voice around in her head that is constantly critical.

What is your junk?

Jesus was always offering people the opportunity to accept the forgiveness of God and leave their junk behind. God forgives the messes of our past, and through the power of the Holy Spirit we are given a chance to do life differently in the future.

Ella -as I am writing this- just walked in my office and said, again, "You sure have a lot of junk, Grandpa!" As she stood looking at all this stuff (old photos, books, toy cars, etc.) she said, "Why do you have so much junk?"

Not a bad question to leave you with...

Thanks for the Little Moments.

Life has all sorts of surprises along the way, you know? God shows up and sends our lives off in unexpected directions.

So here we are. Two months ago I was heading back to Trinity for an expected new chapter of 2-4 (more?) years of ministry and life. A phone call came my way a month ago, and now I am sorting files in my office...doing ministry while getting ready to shift to a new place.

An old friend said when there is a pastoral change it is like a congregation is having a funeral while planning for a wedding. There are tears. There is grief. People say, "So soon?" (Of course there may be a few who shrug and say, "How did it take this long for this to happen?") Folks are talking about blessing us, saying goodbye, and at the same time leaders of the church are getting ready for a new chapter. Thinking about a new start with someone God will send our way.

My role is shifting. I can feel it happening as each day goes by. From teaching and guiding my role is shifting to preaching and blessing. Oh, the other day in staff I led our team in a conversation about coaching and leadership and teamwork. But those moments will now slow to trickle and I'll be doing two things: focusing on preaching and blessing people...and receiving blessings.

It's happening all the time. I am getting notes in my email each day. Sweet words. When I go to the Y or step into a coffee shop, people stop me...they talk...they bless me. So getting anywhere can be a slow process! I am intentionally lingering with people...soaking up every blessed moment. Looking people in the eyes.

Preaching, as it always have, will get the best investment of time and heart and soul I have to offer. I remember talking with a pastor, years ago, who in the month before retirement was preaching recycled sermons. That news broke my heart. I thought, "You have a chance to sum up what you believe...what this is all about...to bless your people as they step into a new future... and you are going through the motions." When time is short it isn't time to go on auto-pilot but to use each minute in the pulpit as faithfully and gracefully and honestly as you can.

Things seem lighter. My role is shifting. It's about those blessed little moments when God gives me chances to bless others and receive a blessing. To, as best we can, talk about what God has done in us and between us and through us. They are little moments...but they're not so little.

Ecclesiastes (4) says there is a time for everything. A time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to scatter and a time to gather, a time to embrace and a time to step back, a time to keep and a time to let go: these days are somehow a mixture of holding and letting go. I let go of the work, of the role I may have played, but I am holding onto people...savoring that...every word, every smile, every moment shared.

Turn Down the Volume.

(The views I express on my blog are my own and they do not represent in any way the members of Trinity United Methodist Church or the United Methodist Church, okay?)

Our nation is in the middle of an "election cycle" (that is what the "talking heads" call it) and the volume just keeps getting louder and louder. Candidates from the fringe, or candidates who have grown desperate, are using their "outside voices" rather than their "inside voices" (these are phrases the mother of a 3-4 year old will understand). I think the rhetoric is dangerous.

During the last presidential election some people were questioning the patriotism of our current President. Which is a dangerous road to travel. Can't we disagree with someone on policy issues but respect the other person? Not take that next step and attempt to question their love for the republic or their character?

A local candidate for Congress has been accused, I saw in a banner ad on the internet last night, of promoting "anti-Christian causes." Billboards accuse him of promoting abortion. I know the man who is being attacked and he is a decent, hardworking man who is a Catholic Christian. And doesn't deserve to be "shamed" by billboards paid for by some Political Action Committee funded by folks we may never know. Down in Kentucky the Democratic candidate for Senator has brought up an incident that GOP-candidate Rand Paul was involved in as a college student more than 30 years ago, and the Democrat is suggesting Paul -a Presbyterian, I've been told- is somehow anti-Christian.

I worry for our country. Some politicans are deliberately playing to the fears and frustration of people. Much of that fear and frustration has been born of an economic recession that is severe. Policies at the national level, supported by both parties over multiple administrations, led up to the economic crash. As did personal decisions we all made to spend too much on the wrong things. But by pouring the gasoline of extreme rehetoric onto the fire of people's fears and anger and frustration politicans are damaging the country.

It is striking. In Exodus 16 the ex-slaves are marching across Sinai and they are scared. Don't see how they are going to be fed. So they turn on their leaders. They turn on Aaron and Moses. So it is. When people are scared they turn on their leaders. We want someone who can fix this -right now!

Here is what I long for: I long for thoughtful leaders of both political parties who will work together to solve the serious challenges facing our country. I long for political leaders who will work together for the common good and not be driven by a blind desire to make the other party look bad so they can "win" the next "election cycle." We're going to have get honest about crumbling infrastructure (including bridges, highways, neighborhoods and broken, dysfunctional families) and try new and creative solutions to things like the crisis in education. We're going to have to get honest about the price we are paying in Afghanistan and in not setting appropriate limits on well-meaning entitlement programs. We're all going to have to sacrifice so America can be strong, can be great, again. There will be no long-term gain without short-term pain.

My Grandpa Owen was a Republican politican who spent most of his working life as Chief Deputy Treasurer in the Indiana Statehouse. Bill Owen worked for -and was friends with- Democratic governors and state treasurers. He was also a fan of two strong political parties.
And I hear stories about how Democrat Representative Tip O'Neil would battle with President Reagan over policy questions and legislation, and then they would sit down together as friends for a drink.

America has been -and can be- a strong republic where courageous men and women work together for the good of the earth. I am praying we'll all turn down the volume. Disagree with one another on policies or philosophy but still respect one another as fellow citizens of a great nation. Let's turn down the volume. Let's respect one another. And let's view the more extreme claims of some candidates with a healthy dose of skepticism.

So How Did the Time Away Change You?

Three months. Twelve weeks. Time in Elkhart and Michigan and Europe and on a ship and in Florida. Time alone. Time with Sharon. Time with the family and our granddaughters. What did it mean? What did I learn?

A friend who went on a sabbatical several years ago told that you really don't fully understand what God has done in you for several months or years after you have returned. I have this image of a sort of "time release" of truth and change that will keep going off for weeks and months.

Here are some things I noticed/learned:

• Stopping is good. Many of us are on a treadmill that moves too fast and it is good to stop. My relationship with God grew and deepened when I stopped.
• I felt "lighter." I am someone who has been pretty serious. A problem solver. Thinking about the big challenges facing us. And I discovered it felt good not to be constantly thinking through how every big problem could be solved. I discovered I felt "lighter" the more I trusted God to handle the world. I realized it is okay to stop...to smile...to laugh... to play...and not to carry the responsibility of the world around on my shoulders 24/7.
• Joy is cool.
• One of the best gifts God has ever given us is ourselves. Sometimes we let the person God made us to be get covered up...papered over...and we need to be good stewards of our own heart and mind and body and soul.

So I've come back and as I do I think I will:

• Work hard to focus on a few essential tasks God needs for me to do here at Trinity.
• Do my best to "fit" into the way God has been at work in my absence. The staff and our leaders have developed a new rhythm while I have been away and I don't want to get in the way of the good that is happening!
• Do less and do it better.
• Love God and continue to make an extended time with God the first thing I do every morning.
• Don't even look at email until I am well into the day, and not do any work on-line in the evening unless it is absolutely necessary.
• Head home earlier. Remembering the lesson of our neighbor in Mishawaka. Carlton was a farmer and when it was time for supper he turned off the tractor and went home. Even if he was close to having a field planted or harvested. There was a time to stop because the work was never done.
• Listen to less news in the evening.
• Watch less tv.
• Spend time each week beginning the writing ministry our leaders have been nudging me to undertake.
• Do my best to finish writing the sermon on Wednesday so that every Friday I get a full day off.

In Psalm 51 David says "teach me wisdom in my secret heart." Later, he goes on to say, "Fill me with joy and gladness." God is, I say with thanksgiving, doing both in my life right now.

Every morning I begin with this prayer: "Jesus, thank you for this morning and this breath. Give me a sweet and joyful spirit, a soft and compassionate heart, and the courage to say and be who you need me to be today."